Ahhh...It feels good to be sitting at home on my couch right now doing nothing. I still kinda wish I was at SIU-Carbondale though for the Christ In Youth (CIY) conference tho. We had such a good time and there was so much growth in our youth group I just don't even have words.
An Overview of CIY: THEME:This Is Me.
Day 1 - Theme:I am Love
Day 2 - Theme:I am Grace
Day 3 - Theme:I am Here
Day 4 - Theme:I am the Way
Day 5 - Theme:I am the Life
I think that the most challenging part of this week was day 3 - I am here. We talked a lot about how when bad things happen, God is always there even if we don't think he is. I think we talked about Scott more this week than I have since December. We had this thing at night called "His Time" that each youth group would go spend time with each other going over the day whatnot. Well about Tuesday, we started a confessional type thing. I got a lot of things off my chest and I don't feel like I need to worry that anyone in that room will ever say anything. It feels good to start to trust people again.
While Alyssa was talking one night she told us that during one song, she could totally see Scott just getting to Heaven. The words were:
So come home running,
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
and He understands
He is the answer
You've been looking for
So come home running
Just as you are...
When Alyssa first saw Scott in the morgue, the first words out of her mouth were 'I'm so happy for you'. I think I'm just now seeing how happy I should be for him! He is with our creator!!! On that day, I'm going to be so excited that even though I'm obsessed with why this happened right now, I'll completely forget all about it and fall at the feet of Jesus.
Before we went, we found out that when they went to serve court papers to the girl that hit Scott, they couldn't find her. 20 years old with 2 kids, she is a fugitive and will be prosecuted for aggravated Vehicular Homicide. She has no money, so even if Lys wanted to sue her for pain and suffering, she wouldn't get anything. It made me so angry. But slowly, God is showing me that even though this girl killed my youth minister, I cant be angry about it, because it doesn't please God. And that's hard. Probably harder than anything I'll ever have to do.
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
-2 Corinthians 12:10
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.
-Matthew 16:25
However I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying the gospel of God's grace.
-Acts 20:24
Basically, its been an amazing week. I can't even begin to describe the change that it has had on my life. And the impact of all the people there had on my life. No matter how much my youth group gets on my nerves sometimes, I love those people and will always love them because in a time that could have broken us, we have lifted each other up and kept each other strong. I thank them for that.
Shelly